Murder

We kill each other in our hearts every day,

Asking other human beings to change

Who they are, what they love, all that they express

So that we can be comforted by not having to confront differences

We ask people to change,

Telling them its for their own good,

“Society isn’t going to accept you like that”

“You need to dress more professionally,”

“God loves you too much to leave you in that state”

“You need to line up with who Jesus says you are,”

“Get better at this, that’s what the world’s looking for”

And we, with good intentions, teach our children to market themselves for the best opportunities:

The best education, the best jobs, the best friends, the best communities,

When instead we should really be teaching them how to fall madly and passionately in love

With who they really are

Buying and selling the souls of men,

We slowly kill and alter them

Until they are unrecognizable shadows of their former selves,

The world accepts them,

And we say we’ve done a good job

Until we can look at each human being and say unequivocally,

“They are beautiful; I don’t need to do anything to change them,”

Then we have not learned unconditional love,

When we want to allow someone into our group,

But only if they conform to the ideals of the box,

Then we have not learned unconditional love

Every day we commit murder,

Unknowingly, sometimes willingly and sometimes not,

With a look or a glare or a word spoken in judgment

Where we look at another human being and say,

“This is not ideal,

Change!”

This is not unconditional love

I hate summer,

The warm weather makes me uncomfortable,

And I have never enjoyed hiking or working out,

I don’t enjoy walking in nature while the bugs swirl around me

And the humidity oppresses me

And the sun beats down on my unsuspecting skin,

But it takes nothing away from me and my life

To look at someone who is an avid naturalist athletic hiker

And admire them for each and everything they are,

To listen to their adventure stories

And have them show me pictures of the view from the top of the mountain

That took them seven hours in the heat of the day to climb to

And genuinely be happy that they’re doing something they enjoy

I do not ask them to change,

To put their hiking gear away,

To come indoors to the air conditioning and open a book and read with me,

To dissect sentences and words,

To write poems and discuss etymology

Never to hike again because that makes me uncomfortable to be outdoors in the summer

Sometimes,

I would hope that they value me enough to come inside for a little while

Before their outdoor bike ride

And listen to me tell them of the depths of meaning behind

Robert Frost or Shakespeare,

Just as I will value them enough to engage with them on a hike,

After I’ve prepared myself with enough sunscreen and water,

And they can show me their world and the way the trees grow new branches,

And I will show them my world and the way changing one word in one document

Can change history,

And we will part from each other after these experiences

Still very much ourselves,

But richer for the knowing of each other,

And I will still hate the outdoors in summer,

And they may never read Shakespearean sonnets,

And neither of us will disdain the other for these choices

Or try to alter them

For that would be murder,

Fundamentally changing who someone is,

Even just not valuing them,

When you say “fool” in your heart,

Because someone is not who you think they should be,

You kill an expression of Divinity

Stop that.