To the Innocent Child I Was

To the earnest, innocent, child I was,

Working so hard to please the God they told me He was

And to the Christians who feel the same way now:

You work and you strive, giving it everything you’ve got and then some

Until you’re so burned out on life, your only hope is to rest in Heaven one day,

And yet you still feel you are falling short

You beg and you plead for God to reveal to you His ways and His will,

Because you’re so sure He has a plan for your life that you are just about to mess up,

And you want one clear sign,

An email or a roadmap or a message from a prophet,

Or if that fails,

A feeling called “having a peace about it”

Or a “check in your spirit”

So that you know you’re moving in the right direction

Or at least not moving in the wrong one

Oh you desire so much, so deeply, with all that you are

To please the God who made you,

Yahweh, who Fathers and loves you,

Yahshua, who died on the cross for you,

And His Holy Spirit,

You ache so much to do the right thing that it’s tearing you up inside

Because the strength of that ache is only equaled by the certainty that

You can never measure up

After all,

You were born a sinner,

Evil from the womb of your mother,

Inheritor of death and the Adamic nature that keeps you separate from the One you love most,

And every inclination of your heart is to do wrong,

To be selfish,

To displease God,

Whether by doing: cussing, thinking impure thoughts, overeating, smoking, drinking, fighting, or feeling

anger, sadness, guilt, fear, or any negative emotion

Or by not doing: tithing, giving enough to charity, donating your time, mission work, praying,

reading the Bible, attending church, putting others above yourself, having humility, or feeling

love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, or self-control

I wish that I could tell you so that you would believe:

There is nothing wrong with you, but there is something wrong with your theology

For how could the God who is all in all have created a being that is not Him?

And how could you, if you desire so much to please God, have a sinful nature and an evil heart?

And where would the inclination and idea to do anything other than express the Love of God have come

from if there is only One Creator and He is Love?

And yes, there’s free will, but we’ve already established that your deepest desire is to know and love Yahweh

So even though you can choose anything and everything,

What would a being created in the image and likeness of God choose except Him?

And don’t get me started on the question of how a loving and omnipotent God who could at the very least

reveal exactly what happens if you don’t “make the right choice” so that you have both have freewill and

are saved from eternal damnation would put you through a “test of faith” to see if you passed and were

worthy of being in His Presence or enduring torment for all of eternity…

Yes, there is pain and suffering,

But it is only born of limitation,

Not of the heart that you bear or the person you are,

And yes, Yahweh God has a plan for your life,

But you are writing it with Him as you speak,

And you cannot mess it up,

Even by doing all of the things they said were sins

Or by not doing all of the virtuous acts the church both prescribes and proclaims are not necessary

Because all you need is faith

Stop.

Think.

Breathe for a moment.

And remember that God loves you,

Jesus came to show you there was never anything wrong with you,

And your spirit is Holy Spirit,

Everything you are is perfect,

Everything you’ve done is perfect,

You are One with the God of the Omniverse,

And you don’t have to prove a thing.