Darkness

 I am the darkness nobody wants,

The one you spend all your time avoiding, praying against, declaring goes away,

I am the one you rebuke “in the name of Jesus”

I am the risk that’s not worth taking,

I am the pain you’d rather ignore,

I am the inconvenience of suffering

 

I am the hurting child whose pain is scorned by adults who have too much to deal with

and think my grievances petty,

I am the grieving person who is no fun at parties,

I am the unashamedly broken whose shards mirror your own so much

that you must thrust me away from you lest you remember your own brokenness,

I am the anger that threatens to roar at the injustice of systems and policies that oppress,

but which must be quieted and tamed because of the fear of my intensity,

I am the sadness of overwhelming loss,

I am the horror that there is more suffering to come,

I am every negative emotion that you labeled as “sinful” and “lacking faith,”

And all of the coping mechanisms that are used in the struggle

to survive the intensity of this pain

 

I am the unknown promise,

I am the unheard cry,

I am the unseen, the voiceless, the unimportant,

The feelings you sweep under the rug,

The experiences you do not speak of,

The suppression of that which you think you cannot bear

 

He who has ears to hear let him hear

 

Because I am other things too,

The treasure wrapped in a mystery,

An intensity of integrity,

And the reason for being,

The very face of God

And the joy set before you

Hidden in the trash dump of Gehenna

Where I was thrown away,

Cut off in the name of Jesus and cast down to where I could no longer trouble you

Waiting for someone brave enough and strong enough and with vision enough to find me

 

I am the darkness no one wanted,

But without which you will never be whole,

Seek and ye shall find

Or throw me away and ye shall lose,

We shall suffer,

All are punished,

And none shall grow

 

For creation and life only happen in darkness,

There must be a place to say “let there be light,”

But maybe you are not ready for this conversation yet,

So I am alone while I wait for your awakening,

The diamond hidden deeply within the coal mine

Shining so brightly and waiting for someone brave enough

To embrace the darkness,

Enter,

And discover me.

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